


Baby, I think I'm capsizing

by cinciarella



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Dorks in Love, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, totally not working through my own feelings lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-25 18:06:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12538024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinciarella/pseuds/cinciarella
Summary: Pascal feels insecure about his future in F1. Esteban to the rescue.





	Baby, I think I'm capsizing

**Author's Note:**

> I'm honestly not sure what this is but enjoy :)  
> Title comes from Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing.

Esteban sighed. It was about three in the morning and he was awake. Cocooned into his blanket he closed his eyes, willing himself to drift back into sleep. Outside the wind was howling, rattling his bedroom window while the rain crashing onto the glass left nothing of the silence he required for a good night’s rest. If he was completely honest, the raging storm scared him a little, but he quickly pushed that thought away and curled the blanket around him a little tighter. He tried to count sheep to tire himself, but in his imagination the sheep didn’t merely jump across the fence, but started doing somersaults and snowboarding tricks. Some were even wearing funny hats so he gave up. 

Sighing once more, he turned onto his side while the stormy weather conjured up images of the last horror movies he saw. While he contemplated whether it’d be worth it to get up and dish his old teddy bear out of his closet his phone screen lit up, illuminating the pitch-dark room. Resigning himself to a sleepless night, he grabbed his phone and read the notification.

Pascal: _Miss you x_

Smiling to himself, Esteban quickly replied: _Miss you too, can’t sleep either?_

Pascal: _No :( wish you were here_

E: _Me too, it’s storming here, I’m a bit scared, need my little spoon. Is it storming there too?_

P: _No it’s calm here. Wish I could hug you_

E: _Aw then why can’t you sleep baby?_

P: _It’s ok baby it’s just_

P: _I’m scared for my future?_

P: _I should let you sleep sorry_

E: _No no no I’m here for you baby_

E: _want me to call you?_

Not waiting for a reply, Esteban opened his contact list and facetimed Pascal. After two bleeps, a familiar face appeared on his screen. Pascal was laying on his side, a soft light illuminating his face, showing those sharp cheekbones, but his warm brown eyes looked sad. 

“Hello beautiful,” he said. Esteban realized he was in the dark and turned over to turn his nightlight on. 

“Aw, you’re wearing your striped pajamas,” Pascal said, making Esteban blush about his quite childish night attire. He shouldn’t tell Pascal about his teddy then, he’d never hear the end of it.

“Hey, they’re warm, it’s getting colder,” Esteban rebuked. He saw a little smile play on Pascal’s lips, but it did not quite reach his eyes. He was suddenly overwhelmed by the desire, no the need, to touch him, to glide his fingers across the outlines of his face, to kiss his lips softly, to feel his face in his neck and his body warm against his own, to twirl his fingers in those soft curls. 

“Fuck, Pascal, I want to be with you so badly,” Esteban pouted. Pascal giggled.

“What? Are you scared of the storm?” He said, giggling a little more.

“Oh, fuck off,” Esteban replied, but he crawled a little deeper under the blankets when the howling wind rattled his window particularly hard.

“Do you want me there to hold your hand?” Pascal teased even more, receiving a fake angry stare from Esteban in return.

“But baby, tell me what’s bothering you,” Esteban said, wanting to know if he could help in any way, he really wanted that sadness gone from Pascal’s eyes. Pascal sighed.

“It’s just… I don’t think there’s a seat for me next year. And…” Esteban could see the tears welling up in his eyes and he just wanted to be there, hold him, kiss his temples, stroke his back. 

“And I really don’t want to be in another series, always so far away from you,” Pascal continued, a tear slowly rolling out of the corner of his eye onto his pillow. And now Esteban really, really needed to be there to kiss the tears from his cheeks and to make that more-blinding-than-the-sun smile reappear on his soft features.

“Pascal, baby, I’m coming over,” he said, unaware of the complications of his statement, but he meant it. He wouldn’t be able to get more sleep anyway, with that storm and thoughts of a sad Pascal on his mind.

“Baby, you live an eight hour drive away from me,” Pascal objected, albeit not whole-heartedly. Even though he did not like the idea of Esteban driving through a storm on a very little amount of sleep, he could not deny to himself how enticing the idea of spending some time with him was. 

“I can’t wait for the next race weekend, I need to see you,” Esteban said, “I miss you too much, I want to make you feel better.” He threw the covers off him and started to get up. The small smile on Pascal’s face seemed a little more genuine now and he himself smiled fondly at the prospect of being able to hold that beautiful face between his hands. 

“Just be safe on the road, please, I don’t want to lose you.”

“No, no, baby, don’t worry, I’ll drink some red bull,” Esteban reassured, “Don’t tell Toto I drink red bull, please.” He added with a giggle. Pascal smiled, visibly cheering up the more the realization seeped in that soon his boyfriend would be with him. 

“I won’t,” he replied before yawning.

“Try and sleep some more, baby, I’ll be there soon.” Esteban said when he saw Pascal yawn. He’d awkwardly picked some clothes out of his closet and started walking to the bathroom with his phone still in hand. 

“Okay, baby, please be safe, take care on the road,” Pascal said, “I love you.”

“I love you too, see you soon pretty boy,” he winked, stealing one last look of Pascal’s gorgeous face before ending the call to get ready.

***

Esteban was humming along to a song on the German radio, he’d just made a last pitstop to use the toilet and buy another cup of coffee. He had also texted Pascal to keep him up to date and reassure him of his wellbeing. Tapping his fingers on the steering wheel along to the rhythm of the song, he looked at the landscape stretched out in front of him: green, glowing hills bathing in the bright morning sun, a stark contrast to the rainy, dark France he’d left behind a couple of hours ago. He huffed when he realized this evolution of weather and scenery could be a metaphor for his own feelings; from the stormy and unsettling loneliness of Normandy to the lovely green hills of Germany, lined with trees whose leaves were turning a hundred different shades of orange and red, glowing in the golden light of the sun, an autumnal scenery that harbored the personal light of his life in the folds of its landscape. 

The last hundred kilometers of his trip seemed to have passed without him noticing. He listened to the radio, sang along with the songs he knew and tried to understand a little bit of the German news program to no avail. Before he knew, his car was pulling up on the driveway of Pascal’s house, the gravel crunching underneath the tires. Pascal must have heard his arrival because the front door opened while he took his bag from the back seat of the car. He locked his car and walked over to Pascal who was standing in the doorway, dressed in a tracksuit, a genuine smile on his face. 

“Ta-dah, it’s your superman to the rescue,” he said before putting his bag down and throwing his arms around the smaller boy, finally feeling his soft face in the crook of his neck. He let his hands rest on Pascal’s lower back before pulling back to plant a soft kiss on his lips. 

“Hello baby,” Pascal said before he kissed him back, his hands around Esteban’s neck while he deepened the kiss. Esteban slid his tongue along Pascal’s bottom lip when the German suddenly started giggling. Frowning, Esteban pulled back to stare at Pascal who just giggled and put his head on Esteban’s shoulder, still giggling.

“What’s so funny?” He asked while his fingers found Pascal’s curls to play with. 

“It’s just… I just imagined you in those Superman leggings, you’d be all leg,” Pascal managed to bring out before succumbing to the inevitable fit of laughter, throwing his head back. Esteban grabbed his shoulders and made him look at him.

“Oh, so you like to mock me?” he asked playfully. Pascal managed to calm himself down enough to reply. “Come on, admit it, it’d be hilarious,” he said before once more falling back into laughter. 

“You need more sleep,” Esteban said, shaking his head. He picked up his bag and let Pascal guide him inside. 

***

Esteban slowly opened his eyes, letting them adjust to the brightness of the sunlight that was falling through the huge window in the living room. He liked Pascal’s house, it was modern, with all the walls painted white, and spacious. Most of all he enjoyed the view out of the window, it overlooked a substantially sized garden and more nature in the background. He looked at Pascal, laying on his side, his body pressed against Esteban’s and still very much asleep.

Upon his arrival, Pascal had made them some grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. They had filled him up so nicely that he’d felt sleepy, the eight-hour drive and sleepless night finally kicking in. Pascal had put on a Bundesliga match, but most of their attention had been directed at each other, snuggling up on the couch in an effort to make up for lost time. After some kissing, Pascal had turned onto his side with his back to Esteban who finally had his little spoon back. So much better than the teddy bear he’d thought of last night. Eventually, they had drifted off into sleep.

Slowly waking up, Esteban shuffled closer to Pascal, sliding an arm around his waist and pulling him a little closer. He kissed the back of his head and relished in the warmth that radiated from his body. This was exactly what he’d needed. He hoped it’d made Pascal feel better too. 

Suddenly, Pascal let out a yawn and stretched, before he turned around onto his back to face Esteban who looked at him with a fond smile playing on his lips. “Sleep well, princess?” Esteban asked. 

“Like a baby,” he replied and while looking outside the window he added: “It’s such a beautiful day, we should go outside.” Esteban hummed in agreement, but slung his arm around Pascal’s chest and rested his head on his shoulder.

***

The freshly fallen leaves crunched underneath Pascal’s sneakers. After a long struggle, he had finally managed to get Esteban off the couch. He had kept making up excuses to _please_ stay underneath the cosy blanket on the couch and watch some more football. In the end, when Esteban had seen Pascal dressed in what looked like an incredibly soft navy-blue cardigan over a white shirt, colours that complemented his skin tone very well, he’d gotten up and promised to join him on a short afternoon walk, as long as Pascal would also wear a beanie. He didn’t really know why, but Esteban liked him with a beanie on. Something with his cheekbones or whatever Esteban had said.

Pascal looked to his side, the long-legged boy next to him was bundled up in a black puffer jacket, his cheeks slightly rosy from the low temperatures outside. They were walking in a forest close to his house, chit chatting about all and nothing, holding hands and just enjoying the sunshine that broke through the crowns of the trees and warmed up their skin. Pascal could feel Esteban steer the conversation towards the reason that he had actually found himself here on this sunny autumnal afternoon. If he was honest, Pascal just wanted to ignore the subject and enjoy this wonderful day.

“What do you think will happen next year?” Esteban asked, gazing at Pascal with his round, vivid eyes. 

“I don’t know really, there are some options, but not many,” Pascal replied, fidgeting with Esteban’s fingers. “I think Williams is the only option in F1, Ferrari really want Sauber to be like their b-team.” 

Esteban sighed. “Can’t Toto do something?” he asked, grabbing Pascal’s hand tightly and gently squeezing it.

“He says he is trying his best,” Pascal replied. The tremble in his voice betrayed how insecure he really felt. 

“Trying his best, trying his best… If he doesn’t find you a seat I’ll drive to his house and show him how hard _I_ can smash a table,” Esteban said, his voice climbing higher with every spoken word.

“Shhh, it’s okay, Este,” Pascal hushed, kissing him softly on the lips. Esteban seemed just about to start another worked up comment, when suddenly his eyes moved to something behind Pascal. Esteban put a finger on his lips, indicating that Pascal should remain quiet, before he grabbed his shoulder and slowly guided him to turn around. At first Pascal was unsure what he was supposed to see, but suddenly he could discern something ruffling in the fallen leaves. A small squirrel was hopping around the trunk of a tree, holding what seemed to be an acorn in its tiny paws. 

“It’s so cute,” Esteban said, “such a fluffy tail.” He slid an arm around Pascal’s waist and put his head on the smaller boy’s shoulder. Pascal smiled at the affection he was receiving. “Oh my god, it’s eating a nut with its tiny hands,” Esteban continued, squeezing Pascal’s waist in the meantime, “Pascal, it’s so cute, I want one.” 

“Baby, you can’t have a squirrel as a pet,” he replied, unsure as to why Esteban was so endeared by a little forest rodent, but then again, if you wanted rational maturity, you should not date Esteban Ocon. He liked it anyway, his sometimes childish attitude and constant amazement at what the world threw at him. Pascal sighed and put his hand on top of Esteban’s. 

“Why not?” Esteban asked, “I think I saw it on the internet once.” 

“You have seen everything on the internet,” Pascal replied. Esteban chuckled mischievously and kissed Pascal’s cheek. Somehow, Pascal had forgotten about the ominous conversation they’d just had and had fallen into a state of momentary bliss. He decided that that was okay, in fact, he decided that he should not worry at all and just live a little, at least fully enjoy the beautiful moments that he was granted. He should be more like his boyfriend, immersed in the moment and its emotions, rather than focusing on a hypothetical future. The squirrel disappeared into the tree.

Suddenly overwhelmed by a profound feeling of love and admiration, he turned around and pushed Esteban against the nearest tree. He cupped the taller boy’s face with his hand and kissed him fiercely, trying to convey the intensity of his feelings with his lips. Esteban moaned into the kiss and let his hands wander down to grab Pascal’s ass. He bit Pascal’s bottom lip before he pulled back.

“I love you,” Pascal whispered, pressing his thigh between the taller boy’s legs. Esteban smiled at him and squeezed his ass. The sun had started to set and the evening was steadily falling over the forest, the temperatures quickly dropping.

“Let’s get home, I wanna show you how much I love you.” 

***

Pascal was sitting on his couch, absent-mindedly going through his social media. He was waiting for the “sign” Esteban told him he’d give. For some reason unbeknownst to him, Esteban said he really needed Pascal’s bedroom and some candles. He heard some stumbling in his bedroom and wondered what on earth his boyfriend was up to now. Undoubtedly, it’d be cute, but knowing Esteban, he could also enter the room to see his curtains on fire and a panicking Esteban trying to extinguish the fire with a glass of water. He shook his head and chuckled. 

“Pascààààl!” he suddenly heard coming from his bedroom. “You can come now,” Esteban clarified. Pascal walked over to his bedroom. 

“Already?” he asked Esteban who was standing in the frame of the door, looking at him with a smug smile on his face.

“Oh, shut up,” Esteban retorted, but he grabbed Pascal’s hand and led him inside his own bedroom. Small candles were scattered over the room: on his nightstands, on the dresser underneath a futurist painting and some on the floor. The light of all the little candles created a beautiful glow in the room. Pascal had to admit it, it was pretty romantic and it filled him with a warm, deep feeling of love for his boyfriend. 

“So, what did I do to deserve this?” he asked Esteban who’d guided him to sit down on the edge of the bed. 

“Nothing,” he replied, “you are just very handsome and sweet and I don’t like seeing you sad.” Esteban kneeled in front of him and took his hands in his own. “You know, it made me think of one of my favourite songs and I want to play it for us,” he continued. He stood up, gave Pascal a quick kiss and walked over to the dresser where his phone was. Pascal wondered what song on earth could possibly describe the trials and tribulations of being a formula one driver, but decided to just go along with it.

Suddenly a distinctive bass sound came out of the speakers of Esteban’s phone. Esteban himself had turned towards him and had started swaying his hips to the seductive rhythm of the song. _Oh, baby, I’m hot just like an oven, I need some loving._ He even sang along with the lyrics in his French accent, while his hands had started to lift his shirt up, slowly exposing his toned abs. _And baby, I can’t hold it much longer, it’s getting stronger and stronger._ And off was the shirt. Pascal really could not help but think it was all a little bit absurd: the overexaggerated mouthing of the song, the slightly awkward dance moves and the seemingly very serious look in Esteban’s eyes. _And when I get that feeling, I want sexual healing._

When he sang those lines, Esteban winked so ostentatiously at him that Pascal couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle and put his head in his hands.

“You’re such a fucking dork,” he said to his boyfriend. _Sexual healing, oh baby, makes me feel so fineeee._ Esteban was undisturbed by Pascal’s remark and was continuing his stripping act by slowly undoing his belt, still looking his boyfriend firmly in the eye. Pascal stood up in front of Esteban who was still rolling his hips to the rhythm of the song. 

“Luckily for me and you, you’re a very handsome dork,” he said, before grabbing the belt loops of Esteban’s jeans and pulling him against him. 

“I’ll show you what kind of sexual healing I can do,” Esteban said, finally kissing Pascal.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fic, so please kudo and comment if you liked it (or not)!  
> And let me know if you'd like to read more of the action hehe.  
> Also, this is all a figment of my imagination.  
> Thanks for reading x


End file.
